


Intensity

by Donya



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU, Arachnophobia, FrostIron - Freeform, Humour, Implied fiku-miku, M/M, Showers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 05:05:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5321561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donya/pseuds/Donya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Loki are neighbours. Tony has a habit of flirting with everyone and Loki is the first person that does not want to play that game. Until one night, Loki's in danger and it's up to Tony to save him. From a spider.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Intensity

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [Intensidad](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14154564) by [Pandora_Von_Christ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandora_Von_Christ/pseuds/Pandora_Von_Christ)



Not many people were immune to Tony Stark's charm. He didn't even had to do anything, he just radiated sexiness. Regardless of what he was doing and what he was wearing. It was a rare gift and Tony used it wisely. Mostly to get laid. But nothing lasts forever and one day his casual and smooth flirting was not returned. It was a shock of a lifetime.

The one who dared to reject Tony was his new neighbour, a quiet, dark creature that seemed mute at first. He didn't react when Tony said hi, didn't acknowledge Tony's existence. His name was a mystery until a large beast knocked on his door for an hour, crying, 'Loki, Loki.' So, an unusual name and possibly some family drama. All that Tony knew about him. Enough to try to seduce him.

After a whole eternity, he got lucky and managed to ride the same elevator as Loki, just the two of them, no noisy grandmas or crying toddlers. Tony took a deep breath and began to unleash his super power on Loki. 

'Hey there.' The sound of Tony's voice, a hint of a smile on his face and having his attention- usually that was enough. For everyone except Loki. 

He listened to Tony's words rather indifferently and groaned to himself, 'Boże, wiedziałem, że lepiej schodami.'

'Oh,' Tony sighed, disappointed. 'So you _no speak English_?'

'Nie.'

'Damn it.'

 

The language barrier was a bit discouraging, but Tony did not give up. He had faced greater challenges in his life, like those two days without coffee to test his strong will. It turned out that he didn't possess it. Anyway. he didn't need to speak the same mysterious language as Loki to get into his pants. He figured out how to ask him out and knocked on his door, all excited. He was more fortunate than the blond bear- Loki actually opened and gave him a questioning look.

'Coffee,' Tony said slowly,' cafe. Qahwah. Kafo. Kafei. Kopi.'

'Kawa.'

'Yes. You, me,' Tony pointed at Loki, then at himself. 'We. Drink coffee. Together. Drink, umm, you know.'

Tony sipped an imaginary cup of coffee while Loki sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. Even the irresistible Stark grin did not help, it only made Loki shut the door. That was just unbelievable. Tony went back to his place to have an identity crisis. If he was no longer a charmer, who was he? Was his whole life a lie? How was he supposed to deal with everyday problems without an easy way to manipulate people? 

 

Two weeks later, around midnight, Tony was in the middle of the very complicated task of trimming his goatee. It required lots of patience and precision, one false move and-

'AAAAAAAAAH!'

Someone in the building screamed in panic, scaring Tony to death and causing him to nick himself. Thank God, his goatee survived.

'O KURRRWA!' The wild screaming continued and well, it might be just a very enthusiastic sex noise or someone being violently murdered. Tony decided to go take a look, just in case. Armed with a baseball bat, he slowly walked out of his apartment, expecting everything, from a couple going at it in the corridor to a blood-soaked serial killer chasing his victim. What he actually saw was Loki, kneeling next to his door, open wide. He was clearly extremely distraught- he sobbed, rocking back and forth and dug his fingernails into cheeks painfully hard.

'What happened? Loki?'

'B-b-bathroom,' Loki stuttered, his whole body shaking. Tony gripped the bat more firmly and went to look for the monster who petrified Loki so hard. It could be a date gone wrong, a robbery gone wrong or a fucking Dexter Morgan lurking in the shadows with a syringe in his hand. Prepared for a life or death battle, Tony carefully stepped into the bathroom. Huh. It was empty. No signs of forced entry or struggle. Bottles of shower gels neatly arranged on a small shelf and perfectly folded fluffy towels. No blood.

'Loki? There's no one here!' He called and only then did he notice Loki was right behind him, still trembling and breathing erratically.

'No, no, he's there,' Loki insisted and to confirm Tony's assumption that he was crazy, he added,'on the wall.'

Tony looked again and didn't see anything. Pristine white walls, no- wait. Above the washbasin, there was a black spider.

'Oh my fucking fuck, this guy?' Tony asked, angry and relieved that Loki was only slightly crazy.

'YES!' Loki yelled hysterically. 'SPIDER. HUUUGE.'

'Seriously? And, wait, you do speak English.'

'Well fucking done, Sherlock! Who cares, there's a gigantic spider in my bathroom!' Loki explained, glaring at Tony with his burning eyes. In the meantime, he let go of his cheeks and now they were covered in angry red marks, which was shouldn't be funny, but it was. The terror Loki was experiencing was somehow easier to bear when he was clawing at something, so he grabbed Tony's arm and used his sharp nails to get Tony's attention. 'KILL HIM,' he urged maniacally.'KILL.'

'All right, I get it, you're afraid of spiders. But they eat flies and are more scared of you than you of them.' Tony tried to reason with him, but Loki was too worked up to think clearly.

'I don't give a shit about flies! Kill him NOW!' 

'Ah, fine.' Tony picked the shower head, intending to send the spider on a journey down the drain.

'What the fuck are you doing?' Loki pawed at Tony's shoulder harder. 'No! He'll come back!'

'Yeah, a vengeful spider. He'll come back and crawl into your bed,' Tony said ironically and regretted that because Loki actually believed him and looked like he was about to faint. Tony groaned and raised the bat, hoping that it was cruel enough for Loki's liking.

'YES, punch him right in the face!' Loki encouraged, laughing diabolically and moved back. 'I want him to DIE.'

Tony didn't want to make a dent in the wall and his blow wasn't hard enough to turn the spider into a pulp. The victim fell on the side of the lavatory, legs folded up, one stayed on the wall. Loki screamed the entire time, louder when he realised the spider might still be alive.

'You idiot, you fucked up! Punch him again! Kill him! Wait, let's set him on FIRE!'

'This is very intense,' Tony remarked and merely to drive Loki over the edge, he used his clenched fist to end the short life of the spider. As expected, Loki screeched and ran away, shouting, 'FUCK SHIT, FUCK FUCK FUCK!' Tony calmly got rid of the spider's remains, washed his hands and went to look for Loki.

'Is it DEAD?' Loki jumped out of nowhere, scaring the living hell out of Tony. The lack of a satisfying answer made Loki take hold of Tony's arms and shake him. 'Have you killed him already?'

'Yes. Relax. You can let go of me now.'

The news of the spider's assassination did not ease Loki's anxiety. There was still madness in his eyes and the need to sink his nails into any flesh was still strong. Tony tried to gently push him away, but Loki dragged him back to the bathroom, his claws threatening to break Tony's skin.

'Check if it's safe!'

'Certainly it's not safe for me,' Tony muttered but obediently searched for spiders in every dark corner of the bathroom, while Loki whined, curled by the door, ready to evacuate in any moment.

'No signs of spiders,' Tony reported. 'Ok! I'm gonna go now and never speak to you again.'

He did not move, though. He felt sorry for Loki, a phobia of something as common as spiders must be tough. Plus, being someone's knight in shining armour felt good, even if it involved a bloody murder of the innocent.

'Do you want to use my bathroom? And, umm, I can make you some tea,' he offered generously, anticipating Loki's eternal gratitude.

'Tea? I hope you fucking meant vodka!' Loki roared and quickly collected his pajamas and a towel. 'God, I need vodka right now.'

They moved to Tony's place and after a careful inspection, Loki decided Tony's bathroom was safe enough.

'I can wash your back,' Tony suggested and Loki, of course, slammed the bathroom door shut.

'No, thank you!' He yelled and proceeded to use up all the hot water. A nice, long shower finally soothed him and when he joined Tony in the kitchen, he didn't raise his voice anymore. He just gulped down his shot of vodka and cried, 'Oh God, it was so big!'

'Yeah, so very big. It would leave anyone in tears.'

'Pour me another. Such a fucking beast, right in front of my eyes. Had he moved an inch, I would have died on the spot. I know you think I exaggerate.'

'No, no,' Tony chuckled. 'This is a completely normal reaction.'

Loki then closed his eyes for a moment, to gather strength to tell Tony the arachnophobic horror story.

'Last summer I was out and noticed a teeny tiny spider on my arm, you know, like a three millimetres long. I told myself- don't freak out, it's just a small spider, he won't hurt you. And you know what? That fucker BIT me. He actually bit me and it DID hurt! The skin around the bite was pink and swollen! Do you understand? If such a little fellow did this to me, what would a huge monster spider do?'

'That dude I've just smashed wasn't going to eat you alive,' Tony couldn't help himself and fanned the flame by saying, 'If that was one of those exotic, huge, hairy spiders, though...'

'Nooo! Not the hairy ones, those are the worst!' Loki wailed and drank vodka straight from the bottle. 'Jesus Christ!'

'So, you don't like things that are huge and hairy, interesting.'

'I need to borrow your bat. I'm going to bed now and I'm not taking my chances.'

That was just disappointing. Loki wasn't even tipsy and the danger did not make him crave some meaningless sex. He took the bat, his clothes and the damp towel, thanked Tony laconically and marched to his spider-infested flat. And that was it, the midnight adventure was over. Such intensity, a naked Loki in Tony's shower and no fooling around. Tragedy.

 

The following day Tony was slowly coming to terms with the fact that Loki was completely unseduceable. It was fine, everyone else loved Tony, really, one person could be different. Although it hurt like a bitch.

Half past eleven at night, just when Tony was about to take a shower, he heard knocking. What, another spider alarm?

Loki was holding a towel, pajamas and a green shower gel. 'Hi. I'm here to use the bathroom,' he announced naturally as if nothing about the situation was strange. 'I've read those suckers hate the smell of mint, so I've got a mint shower gel.'

'That makes sense,' Tony said sarcastically. 'Why can't you use your own bathroom?'

'That huge spider yesterday, if you remember' Loki reminded, uttering every word slowly, so Tony could really understand the message.

'No good deed will go unpunished,' Tony sighed and let Loki in. 'Fine! Use up all my hot water again!'

Loki took off his shoes and began to unbuckle his belt. 'Actually, I was thinking that we could take a shower together.'

Fuck yeah. No freaking one could resist Tony Stark.

'You know, for purely ecological reasons.'

Yeah, right. Ecology. That was Loki's motivation. Not something much more entertaining and pleasurable.

It wasn't exactly how he thought it would be. Sure, both of them were nude and wet but Loki, that little shit, just washed his body. Just that, even though a stark-naked Tony Stark was right in front of him. That was it, Tony was done with him. For good.

'What was that?' Loki stopped and fearfully looked over his shoulder. 'Is that a spider?'

'No. I would say it's a drop. _Of the shower water_.'

'Oh. Ok.'

Two seconds later Loki noticed a suspicious dark spot on the floor. Then asked Tony to check the drain. Still no spiders, only unreasonable panic.

They got out and Loki wrapped his towel around his body. He didn't notice a loose thread hanging from the towel, but sure enough felt it against his calf, a sensation of something crawling on his skin. With an impressive speed, he threw himself at Tony, losing the towel in the process. All of a sudden they were very, very close and not a single layer of cloth separated their bodies. Loki clung to Tony tightly, clutched at his shoulders and gasped out frantically, 'Jesus FUCK! On my leg! Check it!'

Tony didn't want to break the contact, enjoying the proximity of Loki's shivering body more than he expected. So instead he smacked Loki's buttock. 'Even if there was a spider, it's dead now.'

Loki's breath hitched at the unexpected pain and he couldn't stop a wide smile. 'But I said leg.'

'I know.' Tony placed his hand on Loki's back and leant in for a kiss. Loki didn't pull away, that was a nice surprise. His lips felt soft against Tony's, until Loki showed his true nature and bit Tony's lower lip, then sank his teeth into his neck.

'Admit it, you just want a bodyguard.' Tony teased, even though Loki was grinding against him insistently. 'A spider slayer.'

'Oh, I thought it was obvious. I must warn you, though. No soft touches in bed, it will make me think a spider is going for a walk on my body. Hard. Hard touches or I'm leaving.'

Nothing Loki could say or do would arouse Tony more. He had a very special place in his heart for those who shared his desire for rough sex. Even if later they wasted a bottle of a very expensive lubricant to drown a spider and left the puddle for Tony to clean. Well, finding someone so wonderfully depraved and insatiable as Loki had to come with a price.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have arachnophobia, do not go to Ireland. I went and was terrorised by gigantic, black spiders, huge beasts, as large as my hand and this is not an exaggeration. They barely fitted into a drinking glass that I used to trap them. I would expect such things in Australia, not in Ireland. Noah really should have let the spiders drown.


End file.
